Category: things that make me sad

Mar 28

A general update where I am uber positive about life!

It’s not so bad. I have a great relationship, and other wonderful people in my life, a crazy but mildly fulfilling career and of course, writing. My previous post was back in January and I was on the edge of my seat, hoping that I would finally get published. You see, I actually had an inside track, a word from my GCLS mentor. Well, it did not turn out as I had hoped.

Yes, I was temporarily devastated and drank half a bottle of wine while playing Pearl Jam’s Vitalogy record over and over again. I had to get over it though and get back on my “grind” as the kids say. I have worked too hard all these years at improving my craft just to quit writing. I know I have been threatening to quit for some time, but that’s just me whining which I am quite good at. (see previous posts)

I just sent away Leda renamed Sacred Fire to another publisher. I was never sure about the title Leda, and was wracking my brain for another. I am forcing myself to be psyched about it because in my worst moments I cannot help but feel like a complete failure. But those are only my worst moments. I have good ones. Much thanks to Janette for helping me pick up the pieces of my soul this week. I also had some issues at work with a volatile parent.

In the meantime I am rewriting The Gorgon, and I did a logo for a bookseller which I hope to post here soon. I am waiting for the new owner of said logo to unveil it before I go around sticking it up on my blog. So, I guess I will volunteer my services for the GCLS auction again.

0
comments

Posted in things that make me sad, writing

Sep 28

And I’m back………

Part One

I’ve been writing again, and everything is right in the world…well almost, Angie is still otherwise involved with some hag from El Salvador–if I were not so vehemently pro-immigration, I would have ICE on speed dial–

SO I am working on Leda and the Swann, the book that still does not have a proper title, or maybe it does…hhhmmm.

I have not been super productive because of work, my mother announcing that she is an alcoholic, my father returning home from the Talil, and those days when I just want to shut up in my room and listen to Toni Braxton’s Unbreak My Heart on repeat–but I have kind of revamped the story (Awlready?) by removing the problem with the main character, Tinsley”s job and her hot boss Sandra and resurrected the dead ex-wife who wants to get back together and is very nosy and jealous. Yeah, I know it kind of mirrors what I am going through myself, and yes, I know it is kind of sick to write my life into a novel, but hey, I’m a writer, I’m allowed to do this sort of thing. And I will.  So there.

The writing has not exactly been flowing, but the muse has returned, dressed in a chiffon prom dress, and a fedora, while treading barefoot on rose petals. I know because she makes me want to write at 6 in the morning when my alarm does not go off until 7, and other inopportune moments.  She also shows up during my rare interactions with Angie, distracting me from  my real world issues.  Oh, how I love you muse.

And now, Unbreak My Heart by Toni Braxton…she was the shit back in the day…

Part two:

I have a new friend…a real life one. I don’t think I have ever made a friend outside of work or who was not Angie’s friend since my first year of college. We both like Guitar Hero, and awesome movies like Resident Evil. She also cracks me up. She is interested in writing and she is one of the few who had actually read my thought crimes here on the internet.

0
comments

Posted in new novel, things that make me sad, writing

Apr 25

Selling Out (inspired by Les-fic-forum topic)

Yes,  I know I really should be working on Gloaming Hill. I am almost finished with second revision and swore I would complete the task today. As usual I became distracted after visiting the Lesbian Fiction Forum, one of my regular haunts besides the Fringe Forum. http://www.lesbianfiction.org/index.php  Anyway, I have been avoiding this certain topic all week because it gives me the sads. It is titled “Getting Rich Writing Lesfic.” Now back when I started writing at the age of fourteen, I looked up to writers like Anne Rice, not only because of their awesome story telling skills, but because of their success financially. For me, the main lure has always been story telling, I thought getting rich would be a fringe benefit. I think I was in my early twenties that I realized getting published does not bring wealth, and I was OK with that. Around this time I also realized I would need a second career or I would end up living with my folks for the rest of my life. I would have been totally fine with this if it were not for writers like JK Rowling and Stephanie Myer who have made insane amounts of money and relatives coming up to me and telling me that I should write about vampires and wizards so I can get in on the action as well.

To these suggestions I once turned up my nose. How dare anyone suggest I write for the general populace? I write of the grotesque and the macabre, and women finding love with each other in the most darkest and terrifying situations, not sparkling vampires or little witch boys. I know as human beings we enjoy hearing and seeing the same stories and themes over and over, but how many of these cookie cutter books can people stand?

My mother has been against my choice of genre since the beginning. When I started writing Terry McMillan was popular and it seemed everyone black woman, including my mother, had a copy of Waiting Exhale on their night stand.  Recently,  she has been bugging me to write an African American novel with Christian themes. It worked for a lady at her church who is now published, so it would certainly work for me.

Really Mom? Seriously?

Despite my frustrations, I have been tempted to sell out,  and write something maybe for young adults or maybe one of my usuals with a male characters in the place of one of the women. I am not sure though if I will be able to go through with something I am not absolutely excited about. It’s hard enough finding time  and the energy to write without it being  a chore because I am not writing something thrilling enough to inspire me not to surf the web or play solitaire out of pure boredom. I have several ideas in my idea file for my next project after Gloaming Hill. I don’t see myself making the proposed characters younger or turning one of the poor ladies into a dude. These are ideas I am really excited about, and I don’t think I would be as passionate if writing suddenly became a job.

(illustration from one of my first Illustrator assignments at school)

0
comments

Posted in things that make me sad, writing